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Bullying sucks. We see it in classrooms every single day. And if you’re like me—or like most of the teachers I work with—you’ve probably heard advice like: Catch the bully being good Exclude the bully so they learn their lesson Or my personal favorite gaslighting phrase of the moment: “Have you tried building a relationship with them?” Here’s where these recommendations fall flat: They aren’t based in how the brain actually works They won’t actually change the bully’s behavior What they do  do is make you, the educator, feel like you’re doing something… And they create a paper trail so schools can eventually say, “This child is someone else’s problem.” But I digress. So what can  we do? How do we support our bullies—because yes, just like all students with unmet needs, bullies also have unmet needs. And unfortunately, what our false remedies often do is exacerbate  those needs… Leading to more behaviors, more isolation, and more bullying. Because you might not like the sound of it, but it’s true: We HAVE to protect our bullies. If we don’t, here’s what we run the risk of: More bullying, because they feel further triggered or disconnected A student who ages through a system that tells them: “School—and this community—aren’t for you.” Or students who become very preventable data points in the school-to-prison pipeline The effects are real. And this isn’t to minimize the impact on the bullied child either… that’s a topic for another time. So. What can we do instead? First: regulate yourself. Before we do anything productive, we need to make sure we  are regulated enough to respond. Why? Because bullying is HELLA dysregulating . And when we’re dysregulated, sound judgment gets replaced with reaction. That’s why you find yourself “praising around” the bully after they say something cruel… Even though you KNOW it’s not helpful. This resource can help you rewire your brain out of that cycle . Next: ask what need is being communicated. What unmet need (or needs) is the bully expressing through their behavior? That’s where the Behavior As Communication Workshop  inside The Village  comes in. That link will give you a free week inside The Village to binge that training and so much more. Third: respond with as much tact to the bully as to the bullied. When bullying happens in the classroom, we need to be intentional—not just reactive. Example: A student insults another student’s socioeconomic status in front of the whole class. Instead of: ❌ ignoring it ❌ rushing in to defend ❌ saying “That’s not nice” Try something like: ✅ “Huh. I wasn’t expecting that from you. It caught me off guard. I’m going to take a second to regulate before I address it.” (Then actually do it, bestie.) ✅ Model a breath. Invite the class to join. ✅ Then say: “Ashlyn, I know you’re someone who cares deeply about people. I’m going to want to understand what was going on for you when you said that. We’ll talk after ___.” Key step:  stay unbothered.Because you know this isn’t “Ashlyn.”It’s her stress response. ✅ Then to the recipient: “Whew. Shake that off.” Of course, you check in privately with both students later. But handling it this way protects the bully and  the bullied because: You protected the bully’s dignity You centered their best self in the moment You increased the likelihood they’ll trust you in the 1:1 repair conversation Because you know how we really protect the bullied child? By teaching the bully how to express needs in a prosocial way. So protecting the bully also protects the bullied. It’s all connected. I know this is a meaty concept, so feel free to email me with questions at ahart@rewirededucation.com . I’m cheering you on as you cheer on all  your students… Even the prickly ones. With love, Ashlyn

We all remember that feeling of walking into our first classroom - such joy that quickly turned to overwhelm. Managing a classroom is A LOT. So when you find some systems that don't work for you, you need to throw them out the window and share the wealth of knowledge ASAP. So here are 3 organizational mistakes I've made and learned from in my classroom and swear to never repeat! NUMBER 1: NOTHING Yes, you read that correctly. Going in with no plan on how to keep my students organized is definitely a non-repeater. Even adults struggle with organization, never mind middle schoolers! We need to support them while we learn how to be more organized ourself. This means creating systems for filling out agendas (and making sure kids actually do it), collecting work, passing work back, grading homework, filing grades, and so on and so forth. NUMBER 2: GETTING FRUSTRATED Listen, if middle schoolers can predictably be one thing, it would be frustrating, but what we can't do is get frustrated at them for not following what we don't enforce. Here's what I mean by that - If I expect my middles to keep an orderly agenda then don't look at it until January, I am not actually showing them that is what I expect. Instead, I need to reinforce the skills I want to see. I do this by creating space for students to meet my expectations, following up on said expectations, praising them when they meet them, or putting supports in place to help kids meet them. NUMBER 3: CREATING UNMANAGEABLE SYSTEMS Do you know those organization shows on TV with all the beautiful labels and containers? Yeah, that could NEVER be me. I think it's great, but I know myself enough to know that at the end of a long day, I'm going to put the spices above the oven, not in a little box labeled spices 10 feet away from me. The same rule applies to organization systems you use in school. Create a few quick and easy organization systems that you can commit to with your limitations in mind. When you keep these things in mind, you can create an organizational system that works for you. What about you? What are some organizational mistakes that you will never make again?